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Friday, March 9, 2012

My recurring problem of finding foreign, naked men in my cabin by Brian David Bruns

Please help me welcome author Brian David Bruns to FMB! :)

I expected hot bodies on hotter sand, and cool sunsets on cooler balconies, when I applied to work on a cruise ship. Swept up in the romanticism of luxury cruises, I imagined being amongst beautiful, exotic people sipping champagne before a wine-dark sea.
      I did not expect them to have sex in my bed.
      Before I even set foot on my first ship, I was put up in a hotel by Carnival Cruise Lines. Arriving very late in the evening, I wanted nothing more than a shower and some sleep before a 5AM wake-up call. I put my luggage on one of the twin beds and hopped in the shower. Soon enough, however, I realized that not all of the sighs of satisfaction were mine. Others came from just outside the door. Wrapped in a towel, I went to investigate and—lo and behold!—two strangers were having sex in what I had thought was my bed. She was Serbian. He was Bosnian. Yet the biggest surprise of the evening was that I, an American, was joining cruise ships.
      Ship Life Rule #1: In international waters, expect the unexpected.
      International, indeed. How else to explain what greeted me in my cabin on Carnival Fantasy? My cabin mate was sprawled in the center of the cabin, fast asleep. His tiny Thai butt was perched atop a box, his legs splayed wide open across the cabin to rest on two more boxes. His head rested on the feet of a huge Teddy bear that occupied his bunk. The controls of a gaming console sat in his lap. Though the Nintendo was hooked up to the TV and the controller in his hand, the screen blasted a very loud, very obnoxious Chinese martial arts movie. Pirated. With Korean subtitles. Dubbed in Thai.
      And, of course, he was completely naked.
      His name was Nick. How’s that for international? Within the first twelve hours of my new cruise ship life I had already encountered two naked men in my bedrooms. That was not in any of the brochures.
      My next cabin, four weeks later, was with my girlfriend. Sadly, she was the only one of my first four cabin mates who was not naked upon my arrival. Please cite Ship Life Rule #1. When I was promoted to the officer’s deck, I presumed I was through with the surprise of naked, foreign men in my cabin. I was wrong.
      Upon my arrival, my new cabin mate was toweling off after a shower. He was an insomniac Reborn Christian from India named Bogo. The only thing more awkward than stumbling upon him singing “Shine Your Light Through Me, Oh Lord” while naked was listening to his sermons at 3AM night after night.
      Yes, working on cruise ships expands your horizons in all sorts of unexpected ways.



Ship for Brains
Series: Cruise Confidential, #2
Author: Brian David Bruns
Genre: Humor
Ebook
"Returning with his award-winning wit and delightfully candid narrative voice, Bruns brings us the first and only expose of art auctioneering on the mighty liners.

Ship for Brains takes on a society brimming with odd personalities drawn to stress and isolation that invariably lead to alcohol and a Hell-may-care attitude. Willingly giving up home and family in favor of high-paced, crushing sales goals demanded while port-hopping from nation to nation, art auctioneers are undermined by the lash of tyrannical ship officers, unforgiving gallery managers, hyena-like trainers, and a skeptical public. The burn-out rate is phenomenal—but when it works, you are king of the world."
Purchase: Amazon


Best-selling author Brian David Bruns has won numerous national and international book awards. His first book, Cruise Confidential—by the only American in the history of Carnival Cruise Lines to endure a full contract in the ships’ restaurants—was lauded by the Travel Channel, the Today Show, and numerous publications, such as the San Francisco Chronicle, the Chicago Sun-Times, and others.

Find Brian at: His Site | GoodreadsTwitter |





2 comments:

  1. WOW---wish I was 20 years younger--and single. I might just go work for Carnival Cruises, lol. It's not just a job, it's an adventure is no longer just a military motto.
    Cute and funny book blurb

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brian David Bruns' books are awesome. For those of us who love to cruise we couldn't put Cruise Confidential down. And then Ship for Brains. We can't wait for his sequel. Bring it on Brian!

    ReplyDelete

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